It's drawing in. I can feel it.
Any moment now I will loose my mind and I'll be in bliss.
Not just when I try hard for a couple of hours but all the time. I know it.
And it scares me.
I find distractions. Picking arguments, watching television, movies, provoking people, judging, getting involved in pointless conversations. Ego stuff. Anything but to sit still and observe.
Keith is back on the scene, making me doubt.
'You'll lose everything. Your job, wife and she'll take the children. Have you noticed you are annoying other people? Making them feel uncomfortable. They say things behind your back. They think you strange. You are no longer one of them. It's not too late, you can go back to your old ways.'
Old ways. No thanks. I'm prepared to lose everything.
I think.
And that's the problem.
I think I'm prepared, but not sure. I think. That's the problem.
I think.
But when I'm quiet I know that I will lose nothing and gain everything. I need to be quiet more often. All the time. No one is annoyed by the caring quiet man listening to their problems.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boundin
I need a Jackalope to remind me to keep Boundin'.
'The Art of Peace is not easy. It is a fight to the finish, the slaying of evil desires and all falsehood within. On occasion the Voice of Peace resounds like thunder, jolting human beings out of their stupor.' - Morihei Ueshiba.
Monday 22 December 2008
Thursday 11 December 2008
FLOYD
Looking back I think my school was trying to tell me something. All the teachers had comical names. Mr Carpenter the woodwork teacher, Mrs French the French teacher and Mrs Spatula the Home Economics teacher. I made that last one up, but the others are true.
In 1979 Another Brick in the Wall was a hit in Britain, and was causing controversy. I was 13 and the English teacher, Mrs Semi-Colon, asked us to write an essay on it.
Mine was read out. I argued that the song was just as bad as the institution it was railing against. It's monotonous hypnotic beat inciting kids to rise up and change the system.
A popular idea with the teachers but not popular with the kids.
So the usual wedgie in the play ground and me wondering when I took my Duffle coat off at home where all that phlegm on the back of it had come from.
Looking back I think what I was trying to say was leave the world alone. I knew then deep down it was a pointless exercise to try and change it. It wont get any worse it wont get any better.
It is just a test.
I lost sight of that as I grew into adulthood, hypnotised by my surroundings. You can only be hypnotised if you want to be hypnotised.
I don't want to be hypnotised anymore.
Time to wake up.
"If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding! How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?!" - Roger Waters.
In 1979 Another Brick in the Wall was a hit in Britain, and was causing controversy. I was 13 and the English teacher, Mrs Semi-Colon, asked us to write an essay on it.
Mine was read out. I argued that the song was just as bad as the institution it was railing against. It's monotonous hypnotic beat inciting kids to rise up and change the system.
A popular idea with the teachers but not popular with the kids.
So the usual wedgie in the play ground and me wondering when I took my Duffle coat off at home where all that phlegm on the back of it had come from.
Looking back I think what I was trying to say was leave the world alone. I knew then deep down it was a pointless exercise to try and change it. It wont get any worse it wont get any better.
It is just a test.
I lost sight of that as I grew into adulthood, hypnotised by my surroundings. You can only be hypnotised if you want to be hypnotised.
I don't want to be hypnotised anymore.
Time to wake up.
"If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding! How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?!" - Roger Waters.
Tuesday 9 December 2008
PEACE
I saw Guru Irene this weekend. She seems to have finally found peace.
She has that look in her eyes. Distant but the lights are on and the mind is still very sharp. It wasn't always that way. She battled alcoholism for 20 years and it crippled her. Her mind was dulled and railing against everything in those years. It has left her gaunt, twisted and in pain. She hardly eats, shuffles about on a zimmer frame, and finds little joy in the world now. Even her grandchildren fail to drag her back into the illusion. She has had enough. But she has found peace.
Have you?
I asked her what she has learnt in her time on this earth.
'Be tough, be strong, don't let others push you about.'
I love you Irene. You are me.
"Study the teachings of the pine tree, the bamboo, and the plum blossom. The pine is evergreen, firmly rooted, and venerable. The bamboo is strong, resilient, unbreakable. The plum blossom is hardy, fragrant, and elegant. '' - Morihei Ueshiba
She has that look in her eyes. Distant but the lights are on and the mind is still very sharp. It wasn't always that way. She battled alcoholism for 20 years and it crippled her. Her mind was dulled and railing against everything in those years. It has left her gaunt, twisted and in pain. She hardly eats, shuffles about on a zimmer frame, and finds little joy in the world now. Even her grandchildren fail to drag her back into the illusion. She has had enough. But she has found peace.
Have you?
I asked her what she has learnt in her time on this earth.
'Be tough, be strong, don't let others push you about.'
I love you Irene. You are me.
"Study the teachings of the pine tree, the bamboo, and the plum blossom. The pine is evergreen, firmly rooted, and venerable. The bamboo is strong, resilient, unbreakable. The plum blossom is hardy, fragrant, and elegant. '' - Morihei Ueshiba
Friday 5 December 2008
BETTY
Betty died yesterday. And Boris starting eating her corpse.
The kids were distraught. Tropical fish are beautiful creatures.
'I hate that crab Boris! Why do we have to have him?' cried Guru Basil.
Guru Esther was wailing 'Cruel Cruel Crab'.
Guru Monty looked bemused and started playing the harmonica.
I explained that Betty decided to leave her body and didn't need it any more. It sank to the bottom of the tank and Boris didn't know any better and thought he'd eat it to keep his body strong, after all Betty didn't need it anymore. Don't judge Boris, he didn't kill Betty.
That seemed to work.
But I am waiting for the cannibal questions.
'Techniques employ four qualities that reflect the nature of our world. Depending on the circumstance, you should be: hard as a diamond, flexible as a willow, smooth-flowing like water, or as empty as space. ' - Morihei Ueshiba
The kids were distraught. Tropical fish are beautiful creatures.
'I hate that crab Boris! Why do we have to have him?' cried Guru Basil.
Guru Esther was wailing 'Cruel Cruel Crab'.
Guru Monty looked bemused and started playing the harmonica.
I explained that Betty decided to leave her body and didn't need it any more. It sank to the bottom of the tank and Boris didn't know any better and thought he'd eat it to keep his body strong, after all Betty didn't need it anymore. Don't judge Boris, he didn't kill Betty.
That seemed to work.
But I am waiting for the cannibal questions.
'Techniques employ four qualities that reflect the nature of our world. Depending on the circumstance, you should be: hard as a diamond, flexible as a willow, smooth-flowing like water, or as empty as space. ' - Morihei Ueshiba
Wednesday 3 December 2008
THE DOOR
'When I was a child, my parents told me never to open the cellar door. "Never open the cellar door," they said, and for many years, I obeyed them, although I always wondered what it was that was so dangerous behind the cellar door. And then one day, when there was no one around, I finally got up my courage... I slowly walked over... I put out my hand... and I opened the cellar door. And I saw wonderful things! Amazing things! Trees! The sky! Other children!' - Emo Phillips
That is one of my favourite jokes.
One day you decide that you wish to do more than look out of the door. You stop listening to the people around you, the people that mean well but have become lost and want the safety in numbers. You listen to your heart, your true self. And you realise you must get up, brush yourself off, leave behind all that held you in darkness, the anger, the rage, resentment, self-pity, meanness and leave the basement. You simply pick up your feet and get on with it.
You walk out the door.
'You cannot see or touch the Divine with your gross senses. The Divine is within you, not somewhere else. Unite yourself to the Divine, and you will be able to perceive gods wherever you are, but do not try to grasp or cling to them. ' - Morihei Ueshiba
That is one of my favourite jokes.
One day you decide that you wish to do more than look out of the door. You stop listening to the people around you, the people that mean well but have become lost and want the safety in numbers. You listen to your heart, your true self. And you realise you must get up, brush yourself off, leave behind all that held you in darkness, the anger, the rage, resentment, self-pity, meanness and leave the basement. You simply pick up your feet and get on with it.
You walk out the door.
'You cannot see or touch the Divine with your gross senses. The Divine is within you, not somewhere else. Unite yourself to the Divine, and you will be able to perceive gods wherever you are, but do not try to grasp or cling to them. ' - Morihei Ueshiba
Monday 1 December 2008
CONSCIOUSNESS
Everything has a consciousness, buildings, trees, people, animals. Everything.
Everything effects your thinking. Everything effects your action. Everything effects your being.
So keep good company and natural surroundings.
Reminds me of pigeons. The ones seen in London compared to the ones seen in the country.
Feet missing, misshapen, oily, tufted feathers, scratching at filthy pavements compared to the well groomed specimens hanging out in the woods dining on the finest grub.
Why don't these unhappy pigeons move to the country?
They are probably not unhappy. And they are not thinking. They are just going through the motions of existence.
London isn't bad, it just may not be the most natural habitat for most people.
I've always thought that for meditation to be any good you must be able to do it anywhere and at anytime. Not just for 30 minutes in the mornings and evenings but 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Not just in a nice warm room, scented with candles and permeated with relaxing music, but also in the heat of a war zone, scented with cordite and permeated with explosions.
SAS Meditators - that would be an interesting regiment. A platoon of soldiers floating around a war zone telling everyone to pack it in.
London could be the training ground.
Rely on Peace To activate your Manifold powers;
Pacify your environment
And create a beautiful world.
- Morihei Ueshiba.
Everything effects your thinking. Everything effects your action. Everything effects your being.
So keep good company and natural surroundings.
Reminds me of pigeons. The ones seen in London compared to the ones seen in the country.
Feet missing, misshapen, oily, tufted feathers, scratching at filthy pavements compared to the well groomed specimens hanging out in the woods dining on the finest grub.
Why don't these unhappy pigeons move to the country?
They are probably not unhappy. And they are not thinking. They are just going through the motions of existence.
London isn't bad, it just may not be the most natural habitat for most people.
I've always thought that for meditation to be any good you must be able to do it anywhere and at anytime. Not just for 30 minutes in the mornings and evenings but 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Not just in a nice warm room, scented with candles and permeated with relaxing music, but also in the heat of a war zone, scented with cordite and permeated with explosions.
SAS Meditators - that would be an interesting regiment. A platoon of soldiers floating around a war zone telling everyone to pack it in.
London could be the training ground.
Rely on Peace To activate your Manifold powers;
Pacify your environment
And create a beautiful world.
- Morihei Ueshiba.
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